Its been a while since my last post. And for good reason: I am nearing the end of my PhD! I have already done my defense, and I am *this* close to finalizing my doctorate officially. All that’s left to do is turn in some forms during an appointment in early March, and pay the $100ish dollar thesis processing fee. And then abracadabra, prest-o-change-o, miracle of miracles, I’ll be Dr. unpropaganda, with a shiny new Doctorate of Chemical Engineering.
Five Long Years…
Its hard to believe only 5 years have gone by. It feels more like 5,000 years have gone by. I’ve met so many people, been to so many different places, and done so much, it feels like I’ve been away at sea on a fantastic voyage for 5 years instead of at school. I’ve had to endure long period of removal from my loved ones, and had to say goodbye to many good friends over the years that graduated ahead of me. I never really fit in well with the crowd at my school, and as a result was quite isolated for much of my PhD. It’s been a long, lonely, difficult road to travel on. Will it be worth it? I truly don’t know. But I know I will always feel a sense of accomplishment and pride in having done this difficult task of doing research, writing a thesis, defending it before a committee of brainiacs, and coming out relatively intact.
But What Else Was There to Do?
Besides, I did not have much else going on in my 20’s, so I might as well have spent it in school, where I was kept out of trouble. What else was there to do in my 20’s? Five years ago (2010), the economy was completely in the toilet, and I had serious doubts I would have been able to even get a job. Even if I had managed to get one, I can only imagine the kind of stupid stuff I would have gotten myself involved in – especially with women. After having had five long years to sit and do nothing but think (and not just about scientific research), I’ve gotten a much better grasp of how to handle women and ensure I don’t get wind up doing something really, really stupid. I know I am certainly not the same person I was five years ago with regards to attitude and worldview regarding women, marriage, kids, and other things like that. I thank God I stumbled upon the manosphere and MGTOW about 2.5 years ago: to quote one MGTOWer “I didn’t dodge a bullet; I dodged an atomic bomb.” When I finally land myself a job, I intend to save, save, and save. I’m not going to spend money on women, and I damn sure am not going to do something stupid like getting married. I’ve got about $13,000 in outstanding debts to pay off (not bad for 11 years of college, heh). Once those are paid off, I can start doing the investing I’ve been wanting to do.
Journaling My Thoughts Away
I’ve been keeping a journal for the past year or so (not this blog; an actual hard copy journal, written in ink pen.) I must say, I deeply regret not having started a journal the day I started graduate school. There is so much I know I have forgotten: people, places, names, events, good things and bad things. But the journal keeps track of it all. It is the log of your life. Furthermore, it has been a boon to my mental health. If you do not keep a journal, I strongly encourage you to begin this practice. It WILL improve the quality of your life.
The Difficulties of the Past Three Months
The past few months have been a real whirlwind; a stressful one at that. I just haven’t had time or energy to write on the subjects I normally do (it is rather time consuming to research and prepare one of my blog essays). I’ve been pinned down by some huge stressors which have made life very difficult for the past 3 months.
The first major stressor was back in December when I had to move to a new apartment. I’ve had my funding cut at school, so I am currently earning no income, and could not afford my old apartment anymore. I got a super-cheap sublease from this nice Vietnamese guy; only $209 a month! Then the second major stressor has been this winter: ughhhh. The cold weather really makes everything difficult, especially when it snows. The third was preparing my thesis for meeting the formatting requirements of the university. That was pulling teeth (back molars at that). The fourth was preparing for my defense and giving the defense.
Nearing the Finish Line…
But now the defense is done, and my thesis has been accepted for electronic publication by the thesis office. Like I said before, all I have to do now is turn in some forms and pay the fee, and I’m done.
But I’ve got some free time now, so I’ll try to upload something soon (tomorrow is a good target).