On Romantic Dates

I have no experience in setting up romantic dates, and don’t write much often on the subject of dating. In fact, my last post on the topic was almost exactly 1 year ago. Romance is something that has escaped my life since the very beginning; I haven’t been on a date in about a month, and before that it was about 2.5 years. Until now, graduate school had simply occupied so much of my thoughts and time, there really hasn’t been time for anyone else in my life. Even now there isn’t much time for another person, as I am focused mainly on proving my worth at my job and keeping my butt employed. I wouldn’t say I find talking to women “difficult”, but it’s just rare nowadays that I encounter a female that is worth a damn. There are simply too many defective females out there these days, and they’re simply not worth pursuing. I simply do not deal with women that:

  • Have a tramp stamp
  • Have a nose ring, lip ring, or eyebrow piercing
  • Have a felony conviction or dishonorable discharge from the military
  • Are unemployed
  • Are single mothers
  • Have sexually transmitted diseases (or seem like candidates for having them)

Such women are basically no-go zones for me. This drastically reduces my pool of available dating partners (see rough calculations here). In a cruel catch-22, the only real place I encountered women that could pass through these filters was in graduate school. But that ship has sailed, and I wouldn’t want back on board anyways.

Historical Perspective

The funny thing, is that dating is a relatively recent phenomenon in human interactions. In ages past, there was no such thing as “dating.” In Biblical times, a bride price had to be paid to a girl’s father before her hand could be given in marriage. In the houses of feudal Europe, marriages were arranged even at birth, as a way of consolidating territories and power. A concise history can be found here. While it is difficult to say with certainty, I would say the modern concept of “dating” is an outgrowth of the invention of the automobile. Before the automobile, females and youth were not really free to attend to romantic pursuits; or at least, only under the highly circumscribed boundaries set by parents. I personally have never used a dating app like Tinder, and so don’t feel qualified to comment on any of them.

Dating Today

My idealization of the perfect date.

But what composes a romantic date anyways? Whenever I think of a romantic date, I think of evening, candle-lit dinner at white-tablecloth restaurant. However, such a date is rather inflexible, since it must always take place at night, and will always cost a lot of money – making it wife-only territory for me. Perhaps the difficulty in males coming up with date ideas, is that while women are emotion-driven, males are results-driven. And yet, it is the male’s domain to come up with date ideas. For a male, the “desired result” is to get the female into bed. But females don’t think in terms of “desired results”  – though finding a wealthy provider is certainly in the back of every female’s mind. But what did Sun Tzu say?

“What the ancients called a clever fighter is one who not only wins, but excels in winning with ease.”

Of course, the goal isn’t to chop the woman’s head off in a battle. The goal is to get her tush into bed! The best date ideas are ones that are cheap, easy, and result in getting laid.

A problem is that is virtually impossible to Google effective ideas for a romantic date, since Googling the idea merely leads to the click-driven, online versions of popular women’s magazines. The signal to noise ratio is too high. What are some of their brilliant ideas?

  • “Go to a pottery class.” I suppose the author watched Ghost on Netflix before writing this.
  • “Go to a ballet.” And this is supposed to be advice for straight women?

Would any thinking person really heed any of this worthless advice? The advice in these women’s magazines though isn’t meant to be actually followed; it is simply there to make women feel good about themselves.

Advice for Better Success

Since the odds of success on any given date are so low, and the probability of flaking out is so high, I find it to be an immense waste of time and resources to think up complex, expensive, multi-faceted dates to take females on. As far as ideas go, I’ve always just taken my dates to simple places, like a coffee house or a cheaper restaurant, followed up with a brief bout of walking-and-talking. And keeping it cheap is key to avoid going broke.  The most I’ve ever spent on a date was $41 at an Indian restaurant – and I was the one that wanted to go there. Flaking out is an especially obnoxious problem that could be it’s own blog post. Every female does it at some point, and it is what pretty much every guy dreads – that phone call or text 15 minutes before the scheduled meeting time saying, “I just can’t make it.”

A girl wants to flake on me? On this kind of fun? Her loss!

As Sun Tzu would agree, a remedy is to fight on terrain that favors you. I have found that the key to diminishing the impact of this problem is to take the girl on a date to a place you were going to go to anyways. This is even better if your friends are meeting you there; then you can have plenty of fun and enjoy yourself even without that female around you. Hell, I once invited a girl to laser tag with me, with about 15 other friends from grad school. She flaked out at the last minute. Did it stop me from having fun? Not a chance.


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